December 1, 2023 /18 Kislev 5784
Esau meets Jacob’s family, Francesco Hayez, 1844. WikiArt
Song lyrics, mainly from the 60’s and 70’s, frequently run through my mind; something of a continuous loop of the music of my youth. This week, these words emerged – ‘War, children, it’s just a shot away…Rape, murder, it’s just a shot away…’ Not a bad description of the war now raging in Israel and Gaza, I thought. Also not a bad match for Parashat Vayishlach which describes (at least the potential for) war along with dramatic internal struggle and (at least the possibility of) reconciliation.
Dr. Gili Kugler – Senior Lecturer of Biblical Studies in the University of Haifa – focuses our attention on the reconciliation that stands at Vayishlach’s heart. Under the title “To See the Enemy’s Family” she describes the story’s key moments:
After leaving Laban’s home, Jacob prepares for an encounter with Esau. He organizes his family into groups, based on whom Esau will meet first. On the surface, this division starkly illustrates the love hierarchy that governs Jacob’s family relationships…
[However] Esau himself does not interpret the division into camps as a manifestation of hierarchy. He rather perceives it as a gradual unveiling of Jacob’s familial world, which leaves a deep impression on him.
When he lifts up his eyes and saw the women and the children, Esau says: מִי אֵלֶּה לָּךְ Who are these to you? It’s a deeply human question, not in any way related to military tactics or strategy. Esau sees Jacob’s family, his wives and children, entirely in human and humane terms. Again in Gili Kugler’s words:
By presenting his family to his former rival, Jacob submits himself to him and exposes his vulnerability and mortality. Through this gesture, Jacob reminds Esau of his humanity. Esau comes to recognize an entire world that is now integral to what constitutes Jacob. Consequently, the desire for revenge gives way to life.
The last verse of the song in my head this week changes the tone: ‘I tell you – Love, Sister, It’s just a kiss away…’ The fraternal reconciliation of Parashat Vayishlach features one of the Torah’s most famous kisses. “Esav ran to meet him; he embraced him, flung himself upon his neck, and kissed him. And they wept.” Vayihab’keihu…vayisha’keihu – they embraced and kissed. Seeing one’s enemy’s family, acknowledging and appreciating the humanity of one’s enemy, is no easy task. Even in the heat and fog of a terrible war, even when the very possibility of reconciliation feels far off, our tradition still and all asks it of us.
Shabbat Shalom.
